A handy reference guide for people (and cats) that appear on Reality Fish.
- Robin Gambrills: Me. An East-Coast-raised infertile left-wing manic-depressive baseball-obsessed college dropout with no housekeeping skills. I handle this by being as snarky as possible.
- The Wookiee: My husband, the Midwest native. Puts up with me because I’ve tricked him into thinking my neuroses are cute. Spite is his bread and butter for everyday motivation, but it seems to work for him.
- Boundary Issues: The oldest. Deeply in love with The Wookiee. Must be physically stopped from cleaning nostrils.
- Bear Cub: The middle cat. Consistently feels neglected no matter how much attention is provided. Can light fires in the winter with own static electricity.
- Death Wish: The youngest. Occupies time by attempting suicide. Occasionally bites armpits.
- The Chef: My best friend, who cooks a mean chocolate torte and once got yelled at by Lindsay Lohan. Forgave me for cooking a $300 piece of beef in the crockpot with a packet of instant French onion soup. Momma to The Gambit.
- The Monkey: A comic artist and partner in creative crime. Knows a good scotch and how to make curry powder. Constantly puzzled by her own accidental cuteness.
- The Organizer: An evil person who keeps tempting me into things I ought not indulge in, like British TV drama and political activism. An expert on all things tea. May or may not have considered making her pets into a catskin rug.
- The Astronomer: A science grad student with a brain that fires at light speed. Deeply fearful of the long-term effects of fandoms. Can quote Star Trek chapter and verse, though.
- The Adam: An Adam who has seen me at my most profoundly bitch-queen-y, and is still my friend. Can pull off bitchy quite effectively as well. Knows to steer clear when I have a 2 by 4.
- The Pierogi: A working stiff who has only by sheer happenstance yet to maim one of his customers. Makes excellent pierogi. Has a not-so-secret weakness for piles of kittens.
- The Samurai: A gamer and geek extraordinaire. Wields the Reality Fish with even more devastating accuracy than myself. Believes in the universality of tasers as solutions.
- The Ewok: The Wookiee’s younger brother. Determined to make his living as an actor. Will be receiving a box of lemons for his college graduation in the hopes he won’t get scurvy.
- The Gambit: The Chef’s son. Developing a fair amount of personality. Very much likes ceiling fans and watching others play World of Warcraft.
- The Douchebag: The Chef’s ex. The Gambit’s father. Let’s leave it at that.
- The Donut: International man of mystery. Possesses the capability of turning any conversation away from himself and getting others to share their life stories. Capable of bicycling for tens of miles when there is sufficient motivation.
- The Hermit: Slightly agoraphobic bibliophile. Roommate of The Pierogi. Will one day be crushed to death under a collapsed tower of his own paperbacks.
More to be added as they come up.
