R e a l i t y F i s h

I went on a thing about The Dark Knight over on Balloon Juice today, in response to the stupid, stupid, stupid Best Conservative Movies NRO bullshit from earlier this year. For the record, here’s what the morans say about Batman:

This film gives us a portrait of the hero as a man reviled. In his fight against the terrorist Joker, Batman has to devise new means of surveillance, push the limits of the law, and accept the hatred of the press and public. If that sounds reminiscent of a certain former president — whose stubborn integrity kept the nation safe and turned the tide of war — don’t mention it to the mainstream media. Our journalists know that good men are often despised by the mob; it just never seems to occur to them that they might be the mob themselves.

I know I’ve talked about this before, but I’m repeating it, because frankly, I’m going to recycle today. I’m blogging green, people.

The Dark Knight stuff always drove me nuts, in that Batman always failed in that movie when he resorted to ends-justify-the-means. He beats up the Joker, and the Joker escapes and Rachel dies. Batman kidnaps the new head of the mob and drops him off a building, but gets no information; there’s none to have. Batman sets up the (totally implausible) cell-phone spying, but the special Bat-spy-vision screws him up in the final fight. Every time he tries to get down in the dirt with the dogs, he fails. It’s at the end, when he choses not to kill the Joker, that he gets the information he needs—and makes it to the warehouse in time to save Gordon and his family. The entire movie is a philisophical treatise, with the Joker constantly trying to force people to their basest instincts of kill-or-be-killed, and the eventual triumph of holding to ones’ principles, even when it seems that that will only lead to more death. Which, by the way, it doesn’t.

AAAGGGHHHHH.

The Categorical Imperative is as follows:

“Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.”

In The Dark Knight, the boat scene is the test—either they kill each other, or everyone dies. A utilitarian would say to blow up the other boat, because at least you can guarantee someone will survive, instead of no one, thus maximizing happiness (in my personal view, while utilitarianism is well-meaning, it assumes you can be more or less certain of all of the results of your actions, and in my experience, that is not the case). The Categorical Imperative says you throw away the box and accept your fate, because you can will that “one person should not murder others for their own benefit.” The Categorical Imperative also makes a great deal more sense when you factor in chaos theory—essentially, that we as human beings can’t possibly predict the future. In theory, the boats’ mutual destruction should have been assured, but Batman was there; you can never be certain how things are going to turn out, so you’d better just do the right thing and hope for the best.

Conservatives would, without question, have blown up the other boat. (Individuals are of course the final part of the equation—lots of liberals would have done it, too, but we’re not talking about individuals as much as philosophies, so when I say “conservatives” I more or less mean “conservatism.”) The last administration was entirely about blowing up the other boat—“kill them before they kill us.” Therefore, these wingnuts going on about how The Dark Knight is their movie? It’s moronic bullshit. They aren’t Batman. Hell, they aren’t even the Joker. They’re the sheep who would have proven the Joker’s philosophy—that deep down, people are animals who will destroy one another for personal gain.

In summary, teabaggers can’t interpret movies. The end.